


My Heart Beats in my Ears and it's Too Loud

by ketomax



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Trans Gavin Reed, autistic gavin headcanon, calming 900, mild mentions of sensory overload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-23 00:50:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15594579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ketomax/pseuds/ketomax
Summary: A gift piece for a friend who asked for autistic Gavin.(This is based off my own personal feelings when approaching a sensory meltdown, YMMV!)





	My Heart Beats in my Ears and it's Too Loud

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Alternate_Side](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Alternate_Side/gifts).



Sameness. Gavin adored it, the predictability of everything. Coffee cups would always be on the right-hand side of the machine, there would always be four chairs around the break table, it was always 42 steps from the coffee machine to his desk; and nobody would ever bother him until he’d finished that coffee.

Everybody thought he was just unsociable until that point had passed, when in reality he became sociable once he had simply completed that morning checklist and his soul felt at peace, just for a little while at least. Having Nines around hadn’t impacted that schedule at all, in fact it had made absolutely no impact as he refused to even greet the android until the cup had been placed (or rather lobbed from a distance) into the trash can.

“Detective, I need to inform you that there is a new member joining the DPD this morning. Would you like me to share with them information pertaining to your-” he was cut off abruptly by a cross looking Gavin.

“No, I said I don’t want anybody to know. Fowler knows, you know, that’s bad enough.” Gavin huffed and returned to his comfortable position, the words of judgement filling his head yet again thanks to the reminder by Nines. So what if he was a little quirky. So what if he had to wear the same outfit every day because other options were too _wrong_? He didn’t understand why it mattered to other people. It wasn’t their business.

His flow was disrupted again by a rather loud suspect swearing loudly demanding all kinds of things and Gavin’s face knitted itself into a frown and his fingers twitched uncomfortably as he tried to filter out the noise. He breathed deeper, feeling his skin prickle and his temples hurt at the noise and overstimulation, however thankfully the man was removed from his space soon enough. Gavin breathed deeply, really hoping that Nines would keep his mouth shut for just a little longer. He sent the report off with a soft groan and stood up, resisting the urge to stick his hands in his pockets for comfort. His poor nerves today had been tested enough and it was only nine thirty am.

“Detective, you should eat something, your blood sugar is a little low and you are prone to headaches on an empty stomach. I will prepare you a sandwich, please follow me.” Gavin mumbled something under his breath about his brother and a stupid healthcare android dual classing as a cop but he followed nonetheless, hands fiddling with his cuffs. It was there in the break room that he saw the newbie looking smug. Gavin already hated him just by the way he stood. He took a seat at the table, watching Nines make him a sandwich he knew he would eat- bread, mayo, mild cheddar and the wafer-thin kind of ham. There absolutely was a right way to produce a sandwich, which when he explained it to Hank he found he didn’t share that enthusiasm, which Gavin found bizarre.

“Hey, detective,” the smug tone of the newbie carried over to his eardrums like some kind of offensive swear and Gavin looked up in disgust, fingers already fiddling under the table with a loose thread on his hem- _if he pulled it enough, would it unravel?_

“Oi, I said detective. Don’t be so fucking rude, I’m talking to you.” The new man stood up and walked closer into Gavin’s personal space and he immediately felt that familiar anxiety curl in his stomach. _Lash out, just get him to go away, then things will be okay again._

Gavin swallowed, mouth suddenly as dry as the salt flats and he grunted a reply instead while his brain used the stall to create an intelligent answer. “…nh, the hell do you want, you trying to act like hot shit or what? That gets you shot.”

_Bad move, he hated that, shit, look…_

The newbie frowned and smirked at the same time and Gavin couldn’t put a name to that feeling but it sure as hell wasn’t good judging by the words that came out of his mouth next and the increasingly threatening advancements into his personal space. “Is that how you fucking talk to a superior, huh? I’m a lieutenant, asshole, which means I outrank your lazy ass by two to one,” he sneered and prodded a finger into Gavin’s chest feeling something give beneath his fingertip.

He felt the eyes rake over his body, judging him by his facial shape, his dark but somewhat sporadic facial hair, the slip of grey nylon fabric poking out from his plaid shirt and leather jacket; he felt raw and on display and he hated it, but the finger pressing against his person was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Gavin began to feel bits of himself crumble like a castle built on foundations of sand and he swallowed, trying to come back at that. “D-Doesn’t… doesn’t give you the right to… b-be a prick though, s-so back the fuck off before I break that finger and shove it… w-well, you don’t wanna fucking know where,” he felt that panic rise in him and pulled his hands inside his sleeves to try and regain some composure, some sensation.

“Hah, I knew it, I could tell by the way you sat you were actually a bitch,” he sneered and continued to advance into Gavin’s personal space. “What’s the matter, _Gavin_ , you don’t like it when I… touch you?” he punctuated that last bit with another prod to the chest to make a point.

The poke hurt a lot more the second time around, his body on red alert and the force of the touch set his nerves on fire. He was feeling his brain turn bits off, his fight or flight response failing and leaving him to freeze like a deer in the eyes of a tiger, prey waiting to be consumed. At some point, and Gavin didn’t know when, tears had begun to fall from his eyes as the full punch of the meltdown was becoming abundantly clear to him. “J-Just fuck off, f-fuck off leave me alone!” his body wanted to push him away, get him away _now_ but it wasn’t happening.

Nines had been so lost in making the sandwich he had turned around to see Gavin’s stress levels so far off the charts it wasn’t even visible, and he was immediately concerned with his wellbeing. He strode over to the two and stood in front of Gavin, facing down at the new lieutenant and scowling like an android possessed. “I insist you stop harassing the Detective at once, or I shall be forced to remove you from the situation by force.”

That only seemed to aggravate the lieutenant more and he shoved Nines only to find the android grab his wrist with more pressure than he needed to. “I warned you lieutenant. I will be removing you from the area with immediate effect. Detective, please stay where you are. I will return in three minutes.” He knew how to cope with a near miss and dragged the new lieutenant to Fowler’s office paying no mind to the human who was kicking and screaming.

Gavin collapsed back into the chair and let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding, hand shaking and clammy to the touch. He wiped them on his jeans and panted, head _oh so busy and loud and full of noise_. He closed his eyes, counted to a hundred and twenty slowly, knowing Nines would be back quicker than he said and found when he opened his eyes Nines stood there with food, drink, and his favourite stim toy for calming- a purple fidget chain.

“I have detected this is the most efficient of your various means to lower that heightened sense of alertness. I have also prepared you food, and drink that I know will be pleasing to your sensitive palate. The lieutenant is also being handled by Fowler. If there is anything else I can do to assist you Detective, please let me know as soon as possible.” Nines sounded so calm, so relaxing and Gavin sighed softly feeling that panic slowly dissipate as he twirled the purple chain between his fingers.

He shifted to sip the water and groaned softly. “Nothing for now… thanks. I… I just fucking froze.”

Nines nodded. “He was being unnecessarily coarse, detective. You couldn’t have changed his behaviour.” He nodded knowing simple things like that did help to calm the man. “Now, would you like me to stay while you finish your food or-”

Gavin kicked the chair opposite him, “Stay… please.”

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot I was supposed to write this, fucked everything up, and then kicked my PC awake at 10pm to bust this out.
> 
> What a fucking day.
> 
> Unbeta'd! Sorry for errors...


End file.
